When Life Isn’t Perfect

One of my pet peeves is when bloggers (or I guess just people in general) act like their lives are always picture-perfect. You know those people. They carefully filter their Instagram photos, only post about the amazing things that happen to them and are generally just cringe-worthy because of how everything seems to go right for them.

News flash: no one is actually perfect. I know I’m definitely not. Life does not always go my way, and I try to be as honest as possible on my blog/Instagram/Twitter to show that I have bad days/weeks sometimes, and that’s okay. That’s normal.

So what about when my life isn’t perfect? I’ve been talking a lot recently about the job I started nearly a month ago, and yeah, I’ve been pretty positive about it so far. That’s because it was going well and fairly smoothly.

But then I hit a road bump late last week. My supervisor called to say my schedule for the month of May (and possibly beyond) had changed. Like, completely changed. I’d been starting to work my originally assigned schedule of Friday-Tuesday from 1:30 to 10:30 pm and I was getting into the swing of things and enjoying the camaraderie I was having with my coworkers who share my same schedule. So you can bet I was shocked (and very upset) when I was told I was suddenly shifting to the overnight/early morning shift for at least the next month.

My reaction to working the early shift.

My reaction to working the early shift.

I’ll admit, I called my mom after I got the news and I was crying and maybe cussing out my employer to her. But it was good for me to get that out. It’s normal to be upset when your schedule gets completely changed, especially right as you’re getting used to working 40 hours a week. And yes, some of the changes were unfair to me. I was told I’d be working a certain schedule after my training finished, and if my schedule did change, I’d get at least a week or two notice. I was told about my schedule change on Friday, and it will start on Wednesday. Not only that, but the specific position I was hired for feels like it’s being ripped out from underneath me as I’m expected to fill in on a position I never interviewed for, one that I don’t want and I’m really dreading.

Starbucks just around the corner is one perk of work.

Starbucks just around the corner is one perk of work.

So my life hasn’t been perfect since that call. I’m trying to figure out how I’m going to adjust to a totally different sleeping and eating schedule, how I’m going to fit in workouts/running errands/free time, and how I’m going to adjust to filling in on a position I hate for at least 2 days per week for the foreseeable future.

I’ve been trying my best to stay positive. I really like the city I just moved to, my apartment complex is nice, and the coworkers I’ve bonded with are incredible. On the other hand, I’m struggling to see how I’ll survive a year here if my employer keeps changing things on me. I think I’m entitled to some sense of comfort and a normal schedule, even in the industry I’m in. I was okay with having abnormal weekends & different hours (I actually loved those hours, because I could sleep in til 9 every day!) but now I’m dreading being a zombie AND working in a position I didn’t ask to be placed in.

No, my life isn’t perfect. I don’t love my first job, and it’s not the best fit for me. I’m slipping back a little into disordered thoughts as I fear weight gain from the weird hours/stress will catch up to me. Getting paid is nice, but my paychecks aren’t going as far as I thought they would, and I find myself getting upset that I can’t afford to get my car fixed, or new clothes every week, or all my favorite fancy treats from Whole Foods.

Ignore the fact that these are made for dogs (they're good for humans too) but I love Brad's Raw Foods despite the price.

Ignore the fact that these are made for dogs (they’re good for humans too) but I love Brad’s Raw Foods despite the price.

I think what matters is that I’m trying. I’m trying to be as positive as I can, I’m trying to find the good in every day, I’m trying to look forward to the future and see this job as a stepping stone into better things. My life may never be perfect (hint: it won’t ever be) but making the best of it is what makes life good…and that’s good enough for me!

Not every day is sunny but that doesn't mean it'll never be sunny!

Not every day is sunny but that doesn’t mean it’ll never be sunny again!

How do you handle perfectionism? 

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Perfectly Imperfect

This weekend was one of those weekends that I never wanted to end. Don’t get me wrong–it wasn’t the perfect weekend in every way. But perfection is boring! My weekend was perfectly imperfect, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

  • I finally got my hair re-done.

It was time for a change and I’m so glad I made one. I got about 5-6 inches off the length (big for me since my hair’s been this long since 9th grade!) and got it colored darker. I’m in love with the results though–but of course, hair is never as amazing as it is right after getting it done.

I'm a brunette again!

I’m a brunette again!

I was a little worried when I went out with my mom later on Friday on a few errands because it was raining & snowing and I didn’t want my new hair getting ruined. Fortunately, it stayed pretty dry and I was able to score a new bikini from Target thanks to my lovely mom. Trying on swimsuits is still an anxiety-provoking thing for me but I was able to get over my body hang-ups and find a cute suit that I love!

View from my room on Friday afternoon. Looks more like December than March!

View from my room on Friday afternoon. Looks more like December than March!

I can't wait to wear this...hopefully soon!

I can’t wait to wear this…hopefully soon!

  • I went hiking with my parents. 

After crappy weather on Friday and some cold (in the 40s) sunshine on Saturday, I was more than ready for some springlike weather like we had on Thursday. Sunday delivered on that, so my parents and I laced up our hiking boots (okay, I just wore some tennis shoes) and hit the trails at a state park in the foothills on the south side of town. The weather was perfect–in the 70s with gorgeous blue skies. I was excited to fit in some exercise out in the fresh air. Everything was great…until we ran into some mud on the trails. And by mud, I mean several inches of sloppy, gooey fresh mud. Not so ideal, especially with the shoes I was wearing but with a little help from my dad, I was able to survive the muddy trails. You never know what’s going to happen when you’re hiking, and that’s what I love. Sure, it wasn’t quite the perfect conditions but we made the best of it and now we have a great story to tell 😉

I was finally reunited with the Whole Foods salad bar!

I was finally reunited with the Whole Foods salad bar for an almost-perfect picnic lunch.

Isn't this view just gorgeous? I'm so lucky to be able to call Colorado my home (for now)!

Isn’t this view just gorgeous? I’m so lucky to be able to call Colorado my home (for now)!

A photobombed selfie on the trail.

A photobombed selfie on the trail. I love my mom!

  • I got my grocery shopping done for the week. 

I’m being serious when I say that grocery shopping is one of my highlights of the week. I love browsing the aisles for new products and being able to pick out my produce and other food for the week. I get a little upset, though, when I have to push back my grocery trip because of my mom or dad’s schedule. Mostly because I go through my groceries by the time the weekend rolls around, and being low on my favorite foods is a little annoying. But I’m learning to be patient, and just to appreciate the fact that right now, my parents are paying for my (slightly expensive) groceries.

My dad and I didn’t get to the store until 5 pm on Sunday because of our hiking escapades earlier in the day, but I really enjoyed the time I spent with him at Sprouts and Whole Foods. We ran into my internship supervisor from last summer–he’s always been so nice and funny and supportive, so we talked a little about my possible upcoming job. My dad and I share a love for fruit, so we went a little crazy in the Sprouts produce area. At Whole Foods, I wasn’t able to buy everything I had on my list (no spinach, boo!) because things weren’t stocked or they were a bit too expensive but I’m just so grateful that my dad spent the time and money to take me to my favorite store. And now I’m all stocked up for the week and ready to try out some new recipes!

Homemade grain free pizza with homemade kale pesto made from the remnants of my last grocery haul.

Homemade grain free pizza with homemade kale pesto made from the remnants of my last grocery haul.

So yeah, my weekend wasn’t perfect. My nail polish chipped right after I painted them, I had some anxieties over my workouts, I ate too many Larabars (I’ve had 1 per day since Thursday even though I meant to save them…oops!), I was disappointed by this week’s SNL, I didn’t drink enough water, I got a not-so-great voice mail from my doctor’s office and I struggled with some lingering cold symptoms. But you know what? My weekend was perfectly imperfect. I enjoyed plenty of family time, I ate some amazing pizza (of the homemade, grain free variety), I helped my sister with a baking project, I slept in and stayed up late and I just lived. Not every weekend or every day will be perfect, but it doesn’t have to be. Sometimes, the imperfect days are the best!

What were some highlights of your weekend?

 

WIAW: Photo Dump

Wow, it’s been sooooo long since I’ve done a WIAW! I’ve really missed it, but I had to do what was right for me and for a while, I was trying to get away from focusing on food so much. Now that I’ve found a way of eating that’s working for me, I want to start participating in the best party of the week more often.

Basically, I have a LOT of food/random photos to share so let’s get to it!

One of the newest Larabar flavors.

One of the newest Larabar flavors.

I can’t remember where I first saw the latest additions to the Larabar family, but I knew I had to find them. Luckily, Natural Grocers seems to always have bar flavors other stores don’t have, so when I spotted a few of their new Uber varieties, I had to snag one. I got baklava since it sounded the tastiest, and it was pretty good, with the signature spices of baklava. I still like the bananas foster Uber the best out of that line!

Pumpkin chocolate chip buckwheat+almond flour protein pancakes. Topped with coconut butter, homemade apple chia jam, side of local honey.

Pumpkin chocolate chip buckwheat+almond flour protein pancakes. Topped with coconut butter, homemade apple chia jam, side of local honey.

Breakfast for dinner! These pancakes incorporated a few new products, namely stevia-sweetened chocolate chips (um, yes PLEASE!) and sacha inchi powder. The powder has great stats (40 calories and 6 grams protein per tablespoon) but I don’t love the flavor on its own. It worked great in these pancakes with the flavors of pumpkin and buckwheat!

Beautiful pink flowers at the trial gardens on campus.

Beautiful pink flowers at the trial gardens on campus.

Pretty yellow-ish orange flowers.

Pretty yellow-ish orange flowers.

My family visited me a couple of weekends ago and we took a little walk around the trial gardens on a nice, sunny day. Flowers always make me happy and it was great to see them one last time–probably the last time I’ll see them before I graduate!

Lots o' produce!

Lots o’ produce!

I made my weekly grocery trip on Sunday. Unfortunately for my wallet, it was one of those stock-up trips…meaning I spent a lot more than I wanted to. But I got a lot of things I needed, like produce to refill my fridge, coconut oil and protein powder that will both last awhile and some other pantry staples.

Random buys and pantry staples.

Random buys and pantry staples.

That chocolate bar in the front is perfect for true chocolate lovers–it’s literally just made of cacao beans! It’s a bit too bitter for me so I drizzle a little local honey on it and it’s perfection.

In the Forever 21 dressing room.

In the Forever 21 dressing room.

Trying on dress number 2.

Trying on dress number 2.

Aaaand dress 3, the one I bought. It has little colorful triangles all over!

Aaaand dress 3, the one I bought. It has little colorful triangles all over!

My mom and I did a little shopping while I was home this past weekend. I’ve been looking for a professional-looking dress I can wear to school, for doing the weather for the campus TV station and hopefully to wear at my first big girl job. It’s a lot harder than it seems! I can’t buy anything blue or green (because of the green/blue screen I have to stand in front of), I can’t get dresses that are sleeveless unless I want to wear a blazer over them and of course, they have to fit and look right. I can’t even tell you how many stores we went to and left empty-handed. Finally, we went to Forever 21 and hit the jackpot. I only got one of these dresses (the last one pictured) but I actually loved them all. The top one was a bit too big in the chest area (#ACupProblems) and my mom didn’t like the cutouts on the second one but the third one we both agreed was cute and professional. I can’t wait to wear it on TV this week! Oh, and I’m for sure putting the other two dresses on my Christmas wishlist 😉

I love seasonal food items!

I love seasonal food items!

If I had a vice, it would be seasonal food products. Seriously. I have a big problem. I immediately want to buy them, even if I don’t really need them. Luckily, this week I did need to stock up on protein powder (and this one was on a 3 day sale at Whole Foods, score!) and I wanted to buy some sprouted tortilla chips to make nachos. I want to do some kind of review post soon on the products I’ve tried recently but for now, I have to say I love and recommend both of these. The Amazing Meal has the perfect mix of chocolate and peppermint, and I love the vitamins and minerals in all their products. And the chips are a little sweet and a little salty and great for dipping.

Return of the Whole Foods salad bar box.

Return of the Whole Foods salad bar box.

The last thing my wallet needs right now is the Whole Foods salad bar, but I haven’t had it in at least 2 months, so I was desperate for my favorite takeout. I got some usuals and tried a few of their Indian dishes. It was SO much food, but it was worth the price for sure. At least it’s a rare indulgence, amiright?

Local matcha 'frappuccino' from Nourish Organic Juice.

Local matcha ‘frappuccino’ from Nourish Organic Juice.

Noochy kale salad, cashew ranch dressing and grain free PB chocolate chip blondie from Nourish.

Noochy kale salad, cashew ranch dressing and grain free PB chocolate chip blondie from Nourish.

While I was at home, my dad and I saw some short films at a film festival downtown. The movies were fun, but the best part was trying out a newish vegan place nearby for lunch. My dad is definitely NOT a vegan but he’s so accepting of my lifestyle (as is my mom) and he’s always willing to try vegan restaurants and food, plus he’s really into eating foods without artificial ingredients, so that’s a plus. The restaurant we went to is mostly a smoothie and cold-pressed juice place but they had some tasty food options as well. My salad was small but really delicious, especially with their homemade dressing. The frappuccino was perfect–a lot less sweet than frapps from Starbucks, and made with matcha tea, almond milk and a bit of agave. And the PB blondie was incredible–I had it for dessert that night and it was even better warmed in the microwave. I love that they are completely gluten free and vegan (with a lot of grain free options) and that they make all their stuff in-store or buy it locally. Definitely my kind of place!

What have you been eating and doing lately?