Confessions of a Curve-less Girl

I’m joining up with Thinking Out Loud again this week to talk about something close to my heart: body image. 

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We’ve all heard the (completely untrue) phrase “real women have curves”. And we all know the backlash that phrase has created. Of course, I completely disagree with this statement and I think it can be really harmful.

See, I’m a curve(less) girl. Always have been. Not only am I petite, but I’m totally straight up-and-down. During middle school and high school when I noticed my fellow classmates developing boobs, butts and just curves in general, I wondered when mine would come. But after going through years of an eating disorder and emerging on the other side still curveless, I’ve come to embrace my natural body type. I’m a proud member of the A cup club (if only that were a real club!) and I literally have no hips. One reason why it took me so long to be okay with my body is just that. Having no hips means my thighs are naturally close together, and I’ve never had that coveted thigh gap (when my feet touch), even when I was severely underweight. For the longest time, I thought my thighs touching meant I was fat, but it’s really just because of how my body is built. Some women have thigh gaps, some don’t and that’s okay!

This is when I was near my skinniest (and unhealthiest) and my thighs only didn't touch when I was standing with my feet apart.

This is when I was near my skinniest (and unhealthiest) and my thighs only didn’t touch when I was standing with my feet apart (July 2009).

I’ve grown to love my body type. I’ve learned how to dress to enhance it — having a boyish shape means dresses with no structure absolutely drown me and I can’t really pull off the high-waisted shorts look. At the same time, I can wear strapless dresses and tops without looking too sexy (and honestly, I will probably never be considered ‘sexy’ and that’s okay) and I can get away with wearing shorter hemlines because they aren’t too revealing on my smaller frame. Sure, sometimes I feel like a twelve-year-old girl in a bikini because I don’t have that hourglass shape that most women do, but most of the time, I wouldn’t want to change my body type at all.

Also, this isn’t necessarily about being thin. Plenty of thinner women out there DO have curves and some like me don’t. The point is, there isn’t one body type that defines a woman!

No curves but I still rock a bikini (May 2013).

No curves but I still rock a bikini (May 2013).

So am I not a real woman because I’m shaped like a ruler? Of course not! I’m just as much of a woman as any other female out there and NO ONE should be made to feel less than just because of how they look. I also want to apply this to transgendered women, who probably feel even less like women in certain instances. I believe anyone who identifies as a female should be treated as such!

Moral of the story: don’t let societal standards or stupid phrases keep you from being who you are!

How do you feel about the phrase “real women have curves”? 

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25 thoughts on “Confessions of a Curve-less Girl

  1. I think you know my thoughts about that phrase.
    Even though I have curves.
    Especially now, oooh child! (and to be honest? NOT loving them. BUt… trying.)

    Ash- a sexy woman … just like a real woman… is an open-ended term. To say that you’ll never be considered sexy? Now, come on… That’s ludicrous. Think about it… see what I mean? Yes, I know you do. So let’s move on you little sexy nerdy boho-chic girl.

    I just caught up on your blog and OHMYGOD someone called you out for wearing a dress. Depending on the situation I would want to cry, die or kill someone (especially if they be wearing gym shorts while they said it. Ugh.)

    I recognize you can’t be too open on your blog (smart girl!) but can I just let you know that when I read that I FELT that ish. Girl.

    Oh well.. screw em.

  2. Okay… to sum it up:

    Hate the phrase.

    Just like there is no way to define what makes a woman real, there is no real definition as to what makes a woman sexy.
    So you saying you aren’t/never will be? Rethink that. (Right? Right. I knew you’d get it.)

    Also. Caught up on your blog today and GIIIRRRRLLL?? I just about died when I read you casually mention you getting called out at work. I know you can’t go into it on your blog (smart!) but I would be mortified and/or ragey. Especially if the person telling me was wearing gym shorts.

    Just wanted to let you know I FELT that. So I hope you had many opportunities to bitchfest about it (0:

    • You are SO right (as usual)! I shouldn’t limit myself to never being sexy just because of what other people have said. I was totally fine with being thought of as the ‘cute’ one, but I think every woman deserves to feel sexy too if she wants to.

      Also, YES on the dress thing at work. Makes me mad when people dress totally casual, and I get called out for a dress that was fingertip length (and I have long arms). Made it more awkward that it was a guy telling me this…

  3. Big hugs! I’m an A-cup mom and was still able to nurse all three of my babies for well over a year each (I have three). I have this unusual shape – no boobs, but lots of hips n butt. I agree with your statement with dressing, there’s nothing more flattering on a woman than clothes that fit them properly. Big, small and even in between, all women are beautiful!

    • Awww, this makes me feel great, thanks for your comment! I have definitely worried about that if I become a mom someday so it’s great to know that it’s totally possible to nurse with small boobs.

  4. Kathleen Delena says:

    Wow, this post really hits home. I’ve struggled with my body image even after my ED recovery. I’ve gone through so many body changes that everyone teases that whenever there’s a family reunion, I’m the one who changes the most. But in a way, that’s true. I’m only now starting to accept how I look, and finally figuring out ways how to flatter my figure without going the extreme route of diet/exercising.
    Saying you aren’t sexy though isn’t true, girl. You are super freakin’ gorgeous. 🙂

    • Awww way to make me smile, thanks 😀 You definitely should feel great about yourself, especially after going through so many struggles!

  5. I really hate “real women have curves” just because being a women is not defined as having curves!! I have all the parts a women is born with so why do people assume I’m less of a women because I’m small chest/lack hips and a booty?! We should all just accept our bodies the way it is instead of trying to put down one body shape in favour of another! Just my two cents.

  6. I hate the phrase. I will admit that in the very beginning stages of my recovery it helped me start to accept my body, but people take it way too far and it’s just not necessary. We all struggle with body image, but that phrase or the opposite of that phrase doesn’t help anyone.
    Btw, you’re super pretty and I hope you know that!

    • Thank you! Needed that reminder for sure!

      Also, I do agree with you that I think the phrase can be helpful to a point. If it makes you feel better about yourself personally, then I’m all for it. It’s just when it’s used by women to tear down other women or make themselves feel better than other women that it’s not okay.

  7. P says:

    Loving this post! I think I have a similar body type as you, but I am taller. I do have hips, but they are not super curvy or anything, and I have a “boyish” torso and would also be a member of the A cup club (probably more like AA, haha). Accepting my thighs was also a big issue for me growing up, but I’ve made progress in loving my body for what it is, and I think putting in the effort to find clothes that flatter me helps with that somewhat.

    • I love that you’re learning to appreciate your body for what it is! And the fact that your thighs carry you through so many races makes you a total rockstar 😀

  8. GIRRRLL embrace the a cup club!! Grass is always greener on the other side right? In high school I had giant..I mean GIANT ta-ta’s that I absolutely hated. There was nothing positive about them to me and I SO wanted small boobies. I still do in fact, but thankfully mine have shrunk a lot. Total tangent, but sort of related. I think it’s wonderful to embrace our bodies for what they are! You WILL be sexy in someone’s eyes (it’s more than just your body!) don’t even fret about that!! You rock my soccckkks, and I think you’re adorable.

    • Thanks for sharing your own story, I love hearing what everyone else has to say! It’s true though — we all need to embrace what we got. I’ve learned to love my small boobs especially now that I run and literally the only reason I wear a sports bra is to hold my phone!

  9. Kelsey says:

    Ash! I love this. I think this is a truly important message to send to women! I never knew some of the things you struggled with. You are a beautiful wonderful woman! And you can easily be sexy even if you don’t have curves like others. You are amazing! I am so thankful you’re my friend!!

  10. Kelsey says:

    Ash! You are amazing thank you so much for posting this. You are a beautiful, wonderful, smart and fantastic girl! I am so thankful that we are friends. This article is inspiring and I never realized some of the struggles you went through. And you can be sexy even I’m the a cup club! Your amazing!!

  11. Awesome post! Thank you for being so open about your struggles, not everyone realizes that us girls with straight builds struggle just as much as everyone else with what we see in the mirror! I always hated that phrase because it leaves half the female population out of the equation, and there is no way we are any less real 🙂

    • Yes, completely agree! I don’t think any woman should be made to feel less than just because she doesn’t fit some ideal image — whether that’s curvy, thin, athletic, whatever!

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