Homesick

If you had told me just a year, or even a few months ago, that I would miss Colorado, I would have laughed in your face. I was SO over the April blizzards, the generally bipolar weather, the seemingly-annual summer wildfires and the lack of certain things (ahem, lots of vegan restaurants, and up til recently, Trader Joe’s).

I spent most of my life in the Centennial State. I was born in Arizona, and while it still has part of my heart, all of my memories were made in Colorado. I started (and finished) school there, I made all of my friends there, some of my favorite vacations were spent there and I had the best years of my life there, in a town just a couple hours north of my ‘hometown’.

One of my favorite spots in the world.

One of my favorite spots in the world.

But when I graduated from college in December, I was excited for what the next chapter of my life would bring. I was ready to move up and out. I think I applied to a grand total of 3 jobs in Colorado, and 2 of those were in a town on the opposite side of the state, with a totally different vibe. I kept daydreaming about what my new life in a new state might be like, and I wanted it sooner rather than later.

Well…I got my wish. I moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma in early April. I’ve been working for just over a month now, and while that has had its ups and downs, I’m growing acclimated to my new city. I can say I actually do like it. The weather has been mostly fantastic — a lot less humid than I was expecting, and a heck of a lot warmer than back home. There are plenty of things here that remind me of home, like Whole Foods/Sprouts, lots of thunderstorms, a pretty active lifestyle.

Still getting used to seeing the waterfront on a daily basis.

Still getting used to seeing the waterfront on a daily basis.

But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss Colorado. I honestly thought once I moved away, I’d never want to move back, but part of me does. I miss the mountains so much, the dry air, the people I’ve left behind, the places I still remember with a little bit of a twinge in my heart. I’ve stumbled across a few blogs written by women living in Colorado, and it reminds me of what I’ve left behind. As much as I cursed every single snow storm and hated feeling like I’d never leave, now that I have left, it’s a little bittersweet.

Part of it is being hundreds of miles away from all my people. Most of my friends are graduating this week, and part of me feels like I should be there with them, celebrating with a fancy cocktail in Old Town, picking up my cap and gown and packing up my apartment to move back home. But I’ve already done that — that chapter of my life is over.

My sister is also graduating from high school next week, and it kills me to not be able to see her walk across the stage and get her diploma. After all, she’s been there with me for most of my life — attending both of my graduations and always having my back. To not be there for my bestie and little sister is hard. And it’s harder knowing that some of my extended family will be there too, people I see at the most once a year. Being so far away from that hurts.

TBT to last summer with my gorg sissy.

TBT to last summer with my gorg sissy.

Most days, I don’t miss Colorado. Not when they’re getting dumped on with snow in May and I’m running the river trail in 90 degree weather. I like Tulsa. It’s got a great big city vibe without being too big. I could see myself living here for the next year (hopefully moving after that for job-related reasons) and being happy most of the time. And I’m also looking to the future, and planning where I’d love to live in the next few years, and hoping that can happen. I’m not someone who can stay in one place for too long without getting restless.

But then I see friends posting that they got jobs in Denver or Boulder or whatever, and I really miss Colorado. Sometimes I even miss my ‘hometown’ (even though the general vibe is opposite of me for the most part). I definitely miss the mountains and my college town.

Miss you, FoCo, and the lovely Horsetooth Reservoir.

Miss you, FoCo, and the lovely Horsetooth Reservoir.

So here’s to the place that will always have part of my heart, no matter where I roam. Your beauty is unmatched, and even though you’re a little bit crazy sometimes, I’ll always miss you a little bit as long as I’m away. And even if I never move back, I want you to know that I’ll always remember you as home.

Do you ever get ‘homesick’ for a certain place? 

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6 thoughts on “Homesick

  1. I totally and completely understand your feelings right now. I hated my home town but now I’m like I could move back there, yeah. It’s kinda pathetic because I was so excited to get out of there but now I’m like it was so nice, why didn’t I understand that? The town I’m in now though I definitely won’t miss.

  2. I couldn’t imagine how you feel being away from your friends and family especially during these transition times for them. Although I have never moved out of the town I grew up in I often think about where I’d like to move to one day and if I would really miss my current home. Once I start thinking of that I realize there are little things that hold special memories in my heart that I won’t get anywhere else so it’s completely understandable that you feel that way. But it’s also so exciting to be able to make more friends, create more heart warming memories, and explore new places in your new home. Keep in contact with your family and friends back home consistently to help the homesickness feeling. Who knows, maybe the ones that are graduating can go visit you!

  3. After I graduated I moved out to TX — albeit my situation was a bit different as I went with my boyfriend and he already had a group of friends that I (can say in hindsight only partially) assimilated with.

    BUT I HEAR ya… I was homesick but what did help is when I got into my city more like you are doing and made friends (HARD after school, I KNOW, but trust it will happen). Eventually – but years later – I reached the point that I KNEW I needed to get back to SFlorida and maybe that is what you will find too…

    BUT don’t rush it girl. Give it time and know that for now you are “doing OK” <— See what I did there? It is so imporatnat to stick with your first post-grad job for a while (I say at least 18 months) because you gain so much experience and anything less looks iffy on your resume.

    Plus this is a period of SO MUCH GROWTH personally – you don't even know it. Srsly. You think you know who you are and what you want but then.. you realize… dang, I knew NOTHING! lol,.

    So stick with it… do this for now (do OK!) and let yourself get sads and save your money for trips home and just enjoy this time of your life!

    I hope that encourages you. (0:

  4. Moving away from home is hard. Really hard.
    When I moved to LA (at the ridiculously young age of 18), I was so homesick. It was horrible. I also had graduated early which meant that my friends were enjoying prom/graduation/etc. while I was 3 hours away by myself.
    But, it gets easier. The more you socialize and create friendships in your new city, the better. It makes the distance from your family and friends a little more bearable. Try to enjoy every minute for exactly what it is and then, in a year or so, see how you’re feeling about the location.

    xoxo

  5. P says:

    It seems a lot of people can relate, and I think I may go through the same feelings as well sometime after I move from home at the end of the summer. Life changes like this can be hard, but like Emily said in her comment above, socializing and creating new relationships in your current location can truly help.

  6. Your feelings are completely normal, especially with all the things going on in your hometown right now. I can’t relate because I haven’t moved away from my hometown yet (someday, haha) but I know when I do I will have my moments of missing it!

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