When Life Isn’t Perfect

One of my pet peeves is when bloggers (or I guess just people in general) act like their lives are always picture-perfect. You know those people. They carefully filter their Instagram photos, only post about the amazing things that happen to them and are generally just cringe-worthy because of how everything seems to go right for them.

News flash: no one is actually perfect. I know I’m definitely not. Life does not always go my way, and I try to be as honest as possible on my blog/Instagram/Twitter to show that I have bad days/weeks sometimes, and that’s okay. That’s normal.

So what about when my life isn’t perfect? I’ve been talking a lot recently about the job I started nearly a month ago, and yeah, I’ve been pretty positive about it so far. That’s because it was going well and fairly smoothly.

But then I hit a road bump late last week. My supervisor called to say my schedule for the month of May (and possibly beyond) had changed. Like, completely changed. I’d been starting to work my originally assigned schedule of Friday-Tuesday from 1:30 to 10:30 pm and I was getting into the swing of things and enjoying the camaraderie I was having with my coworkers who share my same schedule. So you can bet I was shocked (and very upset) when I was told I was suddenly shifting to the overnight/early morning shift for at least the next month.

My reaction to working the early shift.

My reaction to working the early shift.

I’ll admit, I called my mom after I got the news and I was crying and maybe cussing out my employer to her. But it was good for me to get that out. It’s normal to be upset when your schedule gets completely changed, especially right as you’re getting used to working 40 hours a week. And yes, some of the changes were unfair to me. I was told I’d be working a certain schedule after my training finished, and if my schedule did change, I’d get at least a week or two notice. I was told about my schedule change on Friday, and it will start on Wednesday. Not only that, but the specific position I was hired for feels like it’s being ripped out from underneath me as I’m expected to fill in on a position I never interviewed for, one that I don’t want and I’m really dreading.

Starbucks just around the corner is one perk of work.

Starbucks just around the corner is one perk of work.

So my life hasn’t been perfect since that call. I’m trying to figure out how I’m going to adjust to a totally different sleeping and eating schedule, how I’m going to fit in workouts/running errands/free time, and how I’m going to adjust to filling in on a position I hate for at least 2 days per week for the foreseeable future.

I’ve been trying my best to stay positive. I really like the city I just moved to, my apartment complex is nice, and the coworkers I’ve bonded with are incredible. On the other hand, I’m struggling to see how I’ll survive a year here if my employer keeps changing things on me. I think I’m entitled to some sense of comfort and a normal schedule, even in the industry I’m in. I was okay with having abnormal weekends & different hours (I actually loved those hours, because I could sleep in til 9 every day!) but now I’m dreading being a zombie AND working in a position I didn’t ask to be placed in.

No, my life isn’t perfect. I don’t love my first job, and it’s not the best fit for me. I’m slipping back a little into disordered thoughts as I fear weight gain from the weird hours/stress will catch up to me. Getting paid is nice, but my paychecks aren’t going as far as I thought they would, and I find myself getting upset that I can’t afford to get my car fixed, or new clothes every week, or all my favorite fancy treats from Whole Foods.

Ignore the fact that these are made for dogs (they're good for humans too) but I love Brad's Raw Foods despite the price.

Ignore the fact that these are made for dogs (they’re good for humans too) but I love Brad’s Raw Foods despite the price.

I think what matters is that I’m trying. I’m trying to be as positive as I can, I’m trying to find the good in every day, I’m trying to look forward to the future and see this job as a stepping stone into better things. My life may never be perfect (hint: it won’t ever be) but making the best of it is what makes life good…and that’s good enough for me!

Not every day is sunny but that doesn't mean it'll never be sunny!

Not every day is sunny but that doesn’t mean it’ll never be sunny again!

How do you handle perfectionism? 

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10 thoughts on “When Life Isn’t Perfect

  1. P says:

    One of things I like about you and this blog is how you keep it real. This post is no exception!
    I HATE night shifts. The latest I’ve ever worked was till midnight, but even then I prefer early morning/ “normal” hours.

    Hopefully this doesn’t go beyond a month for you! Hopefully your boss understands that a happy workplace results from happy workers 🙂

    • Working til midnight must be hard! My “normal” shift since I was hired has been from the early afternoon til about 10:30 or 11 at night which I actually love because I’m at my most awake then but once I get home I can fall asleep within an hour and still get a decent night’s sleep. Now I have no idea what to do!

      I’m definitely hoping this is temporary, and if not, I’ll have to talk to my boss just to discuss my concerns with the weird scheduling!

  2. Ugh, that sucks! One thing I love about my job is we get a set schedule for the entire quarter. I never understood those jobs where you get a new work schedule every week. Like, wouldn’t it just be easier to set something and stick to it for as long as you possibly can? Whatever. On the bright side, though, you’ll have evenings free? But hopefully this is just temporary.

    • I really don’t get it either. I think it would be easier on everyone involved if an employee’s schedule stays the same for at least a few months at a time. I don’t really understand the management at my job, though, so maybe there’s a method behind the madness.

      That’s true about having afternoons and evenings free…well, at least until about 5 or 6 when I’ll have to go to bed just to get some decent sleep! It’s going to feel so weird.

  3. Ahh…I’m so sorry to hear about the changes, Ashley. I’m sure it’s really, really frustrating– especially since you were just beginning to get accustomed to your new lifestyle. But I’m proud of you for opening up and being honest about it. You’re right, nobody’s lives are perfect and that’s what makes things interesting. You never know, this could lead to something completely different that you never would have expected. It’s difficult right now but try to have faith that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes life just likes to surprise us…

    Keep your chin up and don’t hesitate to reach out if you ever need to vent. (:

    • I love the reminder that this could turn out to be something completely unexpected and potentially wonderful! Thinking positive leads to positive results (:

      I will definitely be keeping you all up to date with things and I’ll probably end up emailing you in the near future for some support!

  4. That is so frustrating!! I am so sorry you had to go through all those changes so quickly! Personally I think you’re handling everything so well and I give you a lot of credit! I don’t know how I would handle being thrust into the real world with all those responsibilities and long hours. It’s coming up pretty soon for me and I often question if I’m ready….so you’re definitely a big inspiration for me! Hang in there! I know you can do this! 🙂

    • It IS really hard being out in the real world all alone–I think it seems like it’s fun before you have to do it, and once you do, it’s a lot harder than it looks! So I’m trying to cut myself some slack and realize it will take awhile to get used to, but in the meantime I just have to take things one day at a time!

    • Assignment desk. Basically answering phones and making phone calls (which I hate doing all the time), figuring out who’s going where and when, filing mug shots and listening to scanners. Not the most interesting job, but really high stress.

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