Just Saying Thanks

I’ll be back later this weekend with my final grocery budgeting post until the fall, but until then, I just wanted to stop by to say thank you to everyone who took the time to comment on my last post. Every word you all said really spoke to me and I’m really reconsidering a lot of things in my life and working through my issues. So thanks for being honest, encouraging and giving me some much needed tough love.

I'm planning on enjoying the nice weather this weekend...be back later!

I’m planning on enjoying the nice weather this weekend…be back later!

12 thoughts on “Just Saying Thanks

  1. Jess says:

    I didn’t comment on your last post because I read it just now, but I have to say that I’ve commented a few times before basically expressing my fear over the fact that you eat so little. I battled anorexia and an exercise addiction as well, so I know how all of that goes. But as cruddy as it may come off, I hope you have sort of reached your “breaking point” where you’re sick of not being able to indulge every once in a while, sick of engaging in monotonous exercise all the time, sick of living rule by rule, day by day… I didn’t get better until I reached the point of feeling like, “Eff this. This is not going to be my life anymore.” I ignored the scale for a few months while I was gaining back the weight I slaved away at shedding, and while it sucked and felt uncomfortable, I had already made up my mind that THAT was one key to living a normal life.

    Please get better, but please don’t do this alone. You can’t trick your family anymore into thinking you’re recovered when you’re clearly struggling and need their support.

    • I have honestly felt a LOT better when I have avoided the scale, but unfortunately I got curious the last time I was home and the number didn’t exactly thrill me, since I haven’t really changed anything in my eating in the past few months and it was a little higher than I thought it would be. But really, the scale doesn’t really tell us anything and the weight could have been from anything–the food I’d eaten that day, muscle weight, etc. so I want to stop weighing myself altogether and just let my body do its thing.

  2. Amelia says:

    I didn’t comment either- but I would echo those who went before me and just hope you can have a little clarity- you are far too small (just even health wise darling- think of long-term damage too!) I agree you will need the support of your loving family- it will be good to get it off your chest too I bet. A therapist could also be very helpful- I think you have been struggling for so long it just makes sense to get a little help (help is good- we all need help in life ;)) hope you feel better in yourself darling girl

    • I have actually gotten help before in the past, right after I was first diagnosed with an ED, but once I started getting better, I just stopped going because I figured I could do it alone, and I was going off to college so I couldn’t see the same therapist. But I’ve been struggling on and off since last year and I really am starting to believe that I could benefit from some support again, so I’ll be looking into that!

  3. Ashley,you pretty little angel,take care of yourself.
    You are worth everything in this world – all the love and affection; all that you need… You deserve it.
    Focus on yourself and get better. Please. We are all behind you,and we love you far too much to continue watching you harming yourself.

  4. I just saw your last post as well. I can honestly identify with all of the feelings that you are experiencing. I myself battled anorexia, but am now battling orthorexia. I know how tough it is to overcome. I also know that eating disorders and “exercising disorders” typically go hand-in-hand; I should also admit that I over exercise sometimes too.

    Please know that you are strong enough to overcome this. You are not alone. There are thousands, literally thousands, of others who are battling the same situation as you and I are. Just keep that in mind. Stay strong, love.

    • It does really help to know that I’m not alone in this struggle, but I am sorry that you’ve dealt with similar issues! I’ve just started coming around to realizing that I may be suffering from orthorexia now too with some exercise addiction thrown in there and it can be so hard to struggle again after doing well for so long. But I think being honest about it can go a long ways towards recovering!

  5. I didn’t comment on your last post, but I just want to say that I can relate so much to how you are feeling. I understand the pressure to have defined abs. I think Instagram is a pretty destructive place for those of us who struggle with body image issues. I don’t have an account, but knowing what some people post on theirs upsets me a bit. It’s impossible not to compare myself to them in a negative way. And I know how it feels to be scared of weight gain. It’s like a constant nagging thought in my head. I think you do a very good job of incorporating a lot of variety into your diet (lots of your meals are so original!), but honestly, it’s still probably not enough calories for you to be feeling your best. I’ve noticed that cutting down on the amount of exercise I do and making sure that I eat when I’m hungry is making me feel less bloated and a little less upset about my body. I really think that just letting go a little will make you feel so much better. The stress of exercise and eating just the right way is probably affecting you more than you realize. I just hope that you are able to be the healthiest and happiest and best that you can be. Don’t let these things hold you up and make you feel down. Don’t be afraid to enjoy Whole Foods cookies. I really need to try one because they sound delicious. 🙂 Oh, and I had the same feelings about the PB2. Way too salty for me!

    • I’m really glad you don’t have an Instagram account, because I know it can be a wonderful thing for inspiration, but it can be so destructive and competitive to anyone struggling with body image or eating issues.

      I actually really think that you may be onto something with the cutting down of exercise and eating more helping your body image. I know that I force myself to exercise sometimes even when I’m not feeling well, and though it usually makes me feel better, it sometimes does the opposite and makes me feel guilty if I didn’t work out as intensely as I usually do. The exercise thing scares me the most to cut back or cut out, but I think it might make me feel a lot better.

  6. Amanda says:

    Hi Ashley, I am a former reader who recently has been finding your blog too sad to read 😦 it’s great to be honest and don’t ever hide or feel ashamed of where you are at but please try to put your desire for getting healthier into action! Changing your mindset is hard and I think a therapist could really help you sweetie- also a dietician, you need a bit of help feeling ok with eating- really eating if you know what I mean (enough and without guilt or tension) I will look back in a few months- I hope you move forward with your health! 🙂

    • Awww. This makes me incredibly sad that I’ve turned away a reader because of what I’m portraying on here. I’ve been trying to strive for honesty lately but I have to admit that it might seem like I’m not really doing anything to make progress. Maybe I’m not doing as much as I should, but I’m making baby steps every day and I think that these will all add up to major progress in a few months if I keep working at it, and I hope my journey will inspire people rather than turn them away.

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